A little over a month ago, I went shopping in the perfect emerald green velvet dress called the “Dita” by Zoe Vine. I mean, it’s literally perfect and such a beautiful color! You guys know I like to mix up eras so I paired the dress with my 1950s Dorset Rex purse, 1980s belt (Also worn by Selena!), gold vintage jewelry, and simple black pumps. It was such an easy outfit to wear and such a LOOK. It helps that the dress is so comfortable. I was able to shop for hours without feeling like I wanted to run home to put on sweats haha. I think I may need this dress in every color now! Read More
I recently discovered Emma Zeck through this powerful post and found it extremely relatable so I thought I would share.
“@ every male in my lineage on my fathers side (minus my brother & uncle) – to no longer being a doormat & being taught in your actions that this is what I, as a woman, exist for, in the most enlightened way possible:
Fuck you all. Each & every one of you.
To the little girl in me who was exploited & objectified by the men in my lineage. who was taught by the women in my lineage to stand by the men even when they abuse you. Who watched the men degrade their women down to mere objects & the women let it happen because they did not know their own worth. Who was taught to over give & over extend for people who wouldn’t bat an eyelash for you – I see you. I grieve for the loss of your innocence.
You have been conditioned to think that being a doormat is what it takes to love & be loved. This is not the case, & never was. Anything that says otherwise is a patriarchal lie. And this web of lies has been strangling you for some time now but here we are, sweet one, slowly loosening it’s grip.”
In a nutshell, don’t let generational curses or empathy keep you stuck in situations where you are not treated with love and respect. Anything void of those important qualities, is not love. Pay attention to the warning signs and don’t confuse them for butterflies. Pay attention to your intuition and your energy especially when someones vibe exhausts you.
Leave no room in your life for narcissists. Period.
And if you do not know what a narcissist is, you can read all about them here.
Fall & Winter seasons are all about TARTAN and The Pretty Dress company just knows how to create the perfect tartan dresses. I recently got my hands on their newest Tilly dress in red Tartan and its my favorite to date! The Tilly dress is one of my favorite silhouettes they carry because it reminds me of vintage Vivienne Westwood, especially in this beautiful tartan print.
Vivienne Westwood was also the inspiration for the way I styled myself in this gorgeous dress. I wanted to create a classic Victorian look so I complimented the dress by wearing my Jaxon veiled top hat, Agent Provocateur leather opera length gloves, vintage Victorian inspired jewelry, and black pumps. Surrealism is such a huge part of my style so my style might be a bit dramatic for some. However, I am not trying to follow any fashion rules or water my style down for the sake of pleasing others or making them feel comfortable. I advise all of you to stay true to who you are too!
The Tilly dress comes in both a pencil and flared fit and I honestly can never choose a favorite style without dying to have the other. Its also comfortably boned which is pretty hard to come across these days. Some of their Tilly dresses are also on SALE!
The Pretty Dress company continues to reign supreme for creating beautiful retro high-quality pieces and I can’t wait to show you some other dresses I have recently wore. Read More
Hello world! I am back & ready to get back into the hobby that got me where I am today; blogging!
I named my first post of the new year “Strong back, Soft Front, Wild Heart” after a podcast I recently listened to by Brene Brown about belonging & vulnerability. For a long time I didn’t want to blog anymore because I had a real longing to connect with people but a real fear of vulnerability. This has affected my life, deeply, in ways I can’t fully put into words. I am so much more than my brand, so much more than the clothes I wear, I genuinely care about people, I genuinely want to connect with people, I genuinely want to not be afraid, but I am. Even in writing this..
After being an influencer for almost 14 years, Ive had amazing experiences and have met amazing people. However, I have also seen the worst of the worst in people and have had many crazy experiences that have, in time, just turned me more and more into an introvert. Contrary to this bold and bubbly personality I have gotten a reputation for, I actually don’t do so well in large crowds, parties, or places where I don’t know anyone. I just hide it well. I also don’t really share a lot of my life and what I have been through unless its with the core friendships I have had for 10+ years. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It isn’t bad to be guarded, but you end up developing this real longing for connection. You also end up adopting unhealthy reactions to the things that trigger you which can be detrimental to the connections you could be having with those who may just understand you. Over the years, Ive just become a shadow boxer and sometimes, I don’t know when to stop swinging. It’s not something I am proud of, this defense mechanism has protected me from a lot of terrible people but its also not letting anyone else in that might be a good addition to my life.
So I will be doing more personal posts on here. Not just because its a cathartic release for me, but because it helps me connect with all of you. Right now, more than ever, in a world run by social media and fueled by hatred, its so important to connect. This will not be an easy task but I feel it is necessary to my healing and maybe even yours. It helps to know I am not alone, but also helps you to know that you aren’t either.
In 2018 I attempted to start my clothing line for the 50th time but ended up getting into a car accident. I also lost my dog of 17 years who was my only companion here in Las Vegas and was in a super unhealthy relationship.
My mental health was at an all time critical LOW and I knew I had to do something. Something I never did before.
So at the start of 2019, I bought a new car, started my business, was no longer in that unhealthy relationship, & started going to therapy for PTSD which was a huge step for me. I also fell in love, a feeling I never thought I would experience again after years of just settling, but I won’t get into that right now.
Last year was a true commitment to myself not just mentally/physically but in business as well. I couldn’t be more proud to have reached my goal of creating my own clothing brand that is still THRIVING while I had a lot of other things going on. It still so crazy to me because I really didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t expect to see women from all over the world enjoying and loving my designs. It truly helped me understand my worth. Yet still, I couldn’t celebrate my wins without being bombarded with insecurities caused my my perfectionist ways of going about things. This business was my baby and I was so protective of what I had created that I didn’t “allow” myself to make mistakes. So when I did, I really dragged myself for it. A response that lacked compassion for myself. A response that negates the fact that I was in recovery (my mental health was a windy road), a regular day job, sleepless nights, and no energy from using the only 2-3 days off I had to drive to and from LA every two weeks to do production and pick up shipments. All the while trying to take care of everyone else who needed me (not shaming them in anyway because I needed them too).
So, was I really committed to myself? Did I show myself the compassion that I deserved? Was I the best friend/lover I could be in the midst of all of this? Was I the best business woman I could have been? No. But I did my best and in telling myself that, I can heal that part of me that dwells on the shoulda coulda would’ve of life. I am not, in fact, super woman. I am tired and sensitive and alone (often by choice) 95% of the time and starting a business on my own really shed light on those things. And still..every day I wake up and I try to focus on new ways I can improve who I am and my life.
So I ended 2019 with good friends by my side and spent a few days really focused on what I could do better and how I could create more balance in my life in 2020. I finally quit my day job to focus on my brand full time which is what was really killing me. I can now have a life and spend time connecting with my loved ones. I can now put more focus on my mental health and unhealthy defense mechanisms that I don’t want to bring with me into this new year. I now can expand my business from being just me and an occasional hand or two when I need it. Ive been doing too much and in doing too much I have done very little for myself and have had little to no patience with other people.
Maya Angelou — ‘My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style’
I want to have a strong back, soft front, and a wild heart this year. I want to be strong but still vulnerable, wild but still grounded…and stylishly! 😉
I also want to remind all of you (including myself) that perfection does not exist. Success is not a straight line, neither is recovery if you struggle with your mental health.
I look forward to another great year and am excited for all of the doors that are are already opening for me. I just had to remind all of you that I am not perfect, I do struggle just like you, but the key is that I never give up.
So don’t give up. ❤
Photos by: @matcul
I was recently gifted the most beautiful vanity mirror and its inspired me to create some awesome showgirl looks with some of my vintage costumes. This vintage Carmen-Miranda-like costume has been sitting in my closet for 3 years dying to be worn. I just never had the right jewelry to match it until I remembered to check out Bow & Crossbones! They always have the most amazing selection of vintage and vintage inspired jewels and gems. I am currently obsessed with stacking bangles and they have them in all colors. I legit have over 30 of them! My earrings and necklace are also Bow & Crossbones. They match all of my fun tiki style outfits and the showgirl costume I am wearing here! They literally have every style you can Imagine and at great prices.
So happy to have such talented friends like Daniel of DMR Depictions to always understand and capture each one of my visions beautifully. I can’t believe we shot these in my dressing room! Remember to make the time to book fun and creative shoots. You can freeze time in a photograph. I love how I will be able to look at these in the future and be glad that I took them.
Anyway! If you love Bow & Crossbones just as much as I do, stay tuned. I am going to be hosting a giveaway! Make sure you follow my instagram @vintagevandal so you can enter once I post the giveaway flyer! If you can’t wait, just visit Bow & Crossbones and treat yourself like I did!